Church Vans

DrawTrainingCertificateThey’re like a rite of passage. No pastor can truly be a pastor until he has driven what no pastor would want to drive: a church van.

That’s right. Those 15-passenger behemoths of the road can now be driven by yours truly. I have passed the 15-passenger church van training that my church requires all van drivers to take. (I did not know that before taking a group of people on a retreat two weekends ago, but I’m legal now).

And what have I learned? I’ll tell you:

  • Church vans have a higher center of gravity than normal cars. (Really?)
  • A van driver should put the van in park and turn the engine off before letting people exit.
  • A van driver must give himself plenty of stopping time.
  • Many vans don’t have properly inflated tires. (Many cars don’t either, for that matter).

That’s about it. Who wants to go for a ride?

The Office

Due to popular demand (or maybe just one comment by a friend), I decided to post some pics of Hans’ new office at The Chapel. You may notice that the walls are a stunningly familiar shade of…Motor City Blue, a.k.a. Leftover Guest Bedroom Paint. The place could use some wall hangings, bookshelves, maybe a ficus tree or two. I don’t have many pics (the office isn’t very big…), but I think they include everything in there:


New desk, new office chair, new pastor

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Three Chairs (definitely NOT new) and a Table


An Office with a View
(or, “This Microwave Doesn’t Work Very Well”)


Judging by his mini-fridge’s contents, you’d think he were a bachelor.
But wait! No! That’s a bag lunch made by his sweet, caring wife!

And that’s it: Hans’ Office 2009.  Check for updates in the future…

This. . .

Hits on every youth minister pun EVER.

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That, my friends, is pretty true.

I Go Walkin’

Since I’ve put on a little weight lately, I’ve decided to give some mild exercise a try.  I’ve taken 30-minute jaunts around the neighborhood every day this week.  I go early so as to avoid the insufferable heat and humidity that descend upon Baton Rouge by late morning (followed by the seemingly daily afternoon shower).  Here are some of the things I’ve come across:

I saved the best for first.  Even the trees here are Tiger fans.

I saved the best for first.  Even the trees here are Tiger fans.

Ooh...I love a good traitor.

And Texans.

Why not paint the door to match the flowers?  Brilliant.

Purple Door, Purrrr-ple Door

This shade was inspired while the owner was brushing his teeth.

This shade was inspired while the owner was brushing his teeth.

That sign says "Yard of the Month."

That sign reads “Yard of the Month.”

But I like this one better.  And not just because one of those trees is a satsuma tree.

But I like this one better.  And not just because one of those trees is a satsuma tree.

Flora abounds in this neighborhood:  tons of crepe myrtles like this one, plus magnolias, oaks,

Flora abounds:  lots of crepe myrtles like this one, plus magnolias, oaks, cypress…um…grass.


Lots of grass.

Tons of it.

Mowing is for suckers.

Didn't get his V-8 juice this morning.

Looks like somebody needs a V-8.

That's our house.  And that's our monster Christmas tree growing in front of it.

That’s our house.  And that’s our monster Christmas tree.

"He is a loathsome, offensive brute...yet I can't look away."

“He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.”

So there you have it.  Thanks for joining me on this virtual tour of our neighborhood.  I left out the somewhat dilapidated rent houses (occupied primarily by college students) for your viewing pleasure.  Have a good day!

What is it you do again?

IBusiness Card‘m a flock pastor.

A what?

A flock pastor.

A what?

Never mind.

Yes, I have entered the world of the gainfully employed. Or, as a seminary grad is supposed to say, the world of full-time ministry. Either way, I can now support Courtney (who just so happened to support me through seminary). And how do I support her, you ask? Easy. . .

I’m a flock pastor.

Yes indeed, I oversee a flock. Much like a flock of seagulls (not these seagulls, though), or a flock of, well, sheep. And my sheep entail three main groups: the Internationals on LSU’s campus, young professionals in Baton Rouge, and the comprar reductil online relatively young married people (though I’m not sure WHERE young ends and old begins these days [with science and all]).

Regardless of where you draw the line, it’ll likely somehow fall under my ever-important flock jurisdiction. So when you come through Baton Rouge and you’re in need of a flock party, give me a call. I’m sure I can put something together.

Any other terrible puns we can make with this?