I SHOULD’VE PLAYED NCAA FOOTBALL

You may not believe it, but I have the physique of a professional football player. Just ask my wife. But when you ask her, be sure she thinks that you asked, “Hey, is Hans made like a marshmallow.” But had I used my mad football skills to get me through college I likely would have been able to participate in a bowl game, in which I would receive lots of cool goodies.

Check out this link of gifts given to players in bowl games. Some of the highlights include. . .

  • Game Consoles: Go to the Beef O’ Brady’s Bowl (what?) or the Alamo Bowl and you get an Xbox.
  • Gift Cards: Yes, I would like a $450 shopping spree at Best Buy for being in the Champ Sports Bowl. Or, for you frugal people, getting into the Chick-fil-a bowl will get you $250 Best Buy gift card. Can I cash that in for a nugget tray?
  • Watches: I guess Fossil watches are in. It seems like every athlete in America is getting one.
  • Ipods: Thank you, Steve Jobs, for making the mp3 player hip. And for getting it into the hands of anyone in the New Orleans, Texas, Alamo, Music City, or Liberty Bowls.

One time I went on a choir trip and got a dinner at Bennigans.